Don't judge me today
As I write this post late on a summer afternoon, I sit in as much darkness as can be offered to me. It has been an incredibly noisy day, and now as I shamelessly utilize my Forty-Two Inch Flatscreen Nanny for the boys while my baby daughter naps, I find myself pulling the blinds in the window nearby, and turning off the desk lamp. Even the light was too loud at this point in the day.
So let's talk about child noise for a moment, okay? Because I need to know...
Are your kids loud?
I mean, some days, are they really, really crazy freaking loud? And in this loudness they seem to jump at you, and wave their hands at you for attention, and need more drinks, have more stories, demand more butt wipes, create bigger messes than ever before and generally bounce off the damn walls?
I have two boys, ages six-and-a-half and three-and-a-half. My six year old, who I previously believed to be the more mild of the two boys, has recently taken to climbing. Climbing the furniture, climbing the non-child intended parts of the swing set, climbing trees, scaling the counter at Dairy Queen, happily climbing his sister's baby gates just because he can, as well as other various safety gates, bars and contraptions along our nearby lake, to name a few. All the world has become his gymnasium and he has Deep-Seated Robot Instincts that drive him to conquer all that is large or horrendously dangerous. (Case and point? This is the kid who just now exclaimed, "Mom, look at this!" while balancing the baby's upside down Leap Frog table on one hand high above his head. If it's not worth climbing, find another mildly dangerous use for it. Quick!) His smaller brother, while not the avid climber just yet, has reverted back to those all-too-familiar temper tantrums that we dealt with at age one, and thus has found his own plan of attack for Taking Down The Parental Unit. Add to this the noise levels of previous mention, plus one recently crawling and standing toddler and surely you want to comfort me in your arms while stroking my hair and buying me nice coffee, yes?
Will you please listen? What were my directions? Focus. Don't karate chop your brother. Don't kick your brother. Stop picking up your sister. Your sister is not a toy. Marin what are you eating now? Who brought legos to the baby? Don't sit upside down on the couch. Get your hands out of your pants!
Is this familiar to anyone?
The ten year old next door has been lighting off bottle rockets and fire crackers all afternoon and today instead of passing judgement I shall simply deduce that he, too, was driving his mother absolutely crazy, and sending him outside with a flame and explosives was her last option. He is no longer mesmerized by the new Star Wars cartoons on tv, God help me her.
I have learned, by now, that childhood runs through one phase after the next. Someone tell me that my children will discover a deep love for quiet, and rest, next, right?




