Outlook

I have tried to not address it here.

I have tried not to saturate myself with it on tv.

I have steered myself clear of websites like CNN and MSNBC for the time being.

But somehow everywhere I turn there are reminders of what happened at Virginia Tech. 

When I was a kid, I was not allowed to watch the news.  Before this rule came into play, I would catch snippets of killings and kidnappings and wars, and I would obsess over them and worry about them to the point of having stomach ulcers by the time I was ten.  I would stay up all night crying and worrying and being sick to my stomach that someone just like Lori Dann would come to my school, my town, my home, next.  Even saying her name haunts me to this day.

As I reached adulthood I got back into watching the nightly news so that I could catch up on the happenings in the city and the world.  When September 11th happened I watched the news channel around the clock for weeks, and I lived in a funk and felt vulnerable in what I had once viewed the safest country in the world.  I hated that Kevin went to work every day in a building across the street from the Sears Tower, because surely that could be the next one to be hit by planes or bombs. 

Before bed every night I obsessively check the locks on our doors and sleep with our bright porch light on even though it shines into our bedroom window and keeps me half awake.  When Kevin leaves for work I get up and lock the deadbolt, because the handle lock just isn't good enough.  I hate to let the dog out in the dark, and I'm not even all that fond of going down to the dark and creepy basement for laundry late at night. 

Things get to me really, really easily.

Over the last four or five months I have refocused my thinking.  I try to keep my mental state mostly in the positive, and I plan for best case scenarios to work out.  It has done an unbelievable amount of good for my poor, tortured mind, not to mention the ways it has caused me to expand as a person.  I have stopped watching the nightly news, using the divine power of Tivo to fast forward to the weather segment, and I've stopped reading the awful headlines of the daily paper. 

Because why is it that the biggest news is always the worst news?  Pay attention to your local newscast.  Are the top five stories not always pertaining to young children dying in fires, being kidnapped, and women my age being raped and murdered? 

I've spent the last several days thinking about the victims and the families and the students of Virginia Tech almost nonstop.  At first I didn't watch anything on television, believing that my knowing what happened was enough.  Then I caught something on Oprah, and later decided to watch the 10:00 news and all of its special reports.  Every time I log into my Yahoo account, there are images of mourners, or words from or images of the killer.  This is what greeted me at my front door this morning, as I left the house to drop my own precious cargo off at school.

   

Really, how necessary is this picture? 

Nice job, NBC, you did exactly what the crazy SOB had hoped, and plastered his disturbing images and messages into everyone's minds, right down to the smallest, most peaceful towns.  And we're worried about whether or not our kids should play with water guns?  When THIS is in their face as they head out for school and walk past news stands?  I can only do so much as a parent by keeping the television off. 

Over the last several days I've thought a lot about the promise that these college students and their professors held.  And what their lives will mean now, and how they've influenced people in their short time here.  I've thought about what a growing trend it is for outcasts and assholes to walk into, of all places, schools and hold killing sprees.  What does that say about our country, if that's the new way to rebel against society?

If I know one thing is for sure, our country, and especially our media, needs to make big changes in the way we portray tragedies such as this.  We need to stop celebrating the criminals, and start reaching out more to the victims.  And more than anything else, we need to improve legislation and send a very, very strong message that events like this are absolutely unthinkable and intolerable.  Because otherwise it's just going to continue to get worse.

Comments

[Laylabean]

I totally agree with you, it makes me sick how NBC and the rest of the media is feeding on this. I haven't turned on the cable news at all, I don't need to see that kind of overblown hype and mindless reporters asking some poor student how it felt to get shot. Disgusting.

Even worse? People trying to profit from this. If you really want to be ill go to eBay. There are t-shirts, magnets, bracelets, and someone selling memorial domain names for $25K. It's unbelievable how low some will stoop.

Excuse me, I think I'm going to go turn on Mr. Rogers now. No more controversy for me.

[Sant]

It's for reasons like this that I remember, with having not watched any news at all today, that this is the anniversary of the Oklahoma City Bombing, that tomorrow is the anniversary of Columbine. The media burns images into your brain, and never talks about the good things. We only hear the number of casualties and dead, and not so much about the heroes. And exactly that in the media, the names and stories of the people responsible are what take over, as if they should be glorified for the horror they've just onset in the country and the destruction of so many lives.

Is it any wonder that our nation is becoming so numb to everything? Because I'm still waiting to feel something other than I am grateful I am no longer in college and hoping that my workplace keeps the doors locked. A+ media.

[Frema]

I agree. The killer did this partly because he was sick, and partly because he wanted the glory, the label of being the person responsible for "the largest mass shooting in U.S. history." He sent that crap over to NBC because he knew it would be aired to millions. He knew his message would not be lost. And our media sources eat it up with a spoon.

Just one reason I never want to work for a newspaper.

[Elizabeth/Margarita]

That newspaper photo made me shiver. It literally took my breath away when I scrolled down.
I swear, I could've written this post. Obsessing about everything, locking the door after Justin leaves in the morning, checking the doors and windows once twice three times before bed just.in.case. My kids don't play with water/toy guns and if we go to a friend's house that DOES allow it? I ask the parents to put them away while we are there. Obesessing about everything makes me tired and crazy and angry that I have to be this way. Angry at the media for ETCHING such horrible images of death and terror and destruction for what? RATINGS. And they are TOTALLY cashing in on the fact that this week is the memorial of the Oklahoma City Bombings AND Columbine and now THIS?
It's immoral and disgusting and does NOTHING but make me want to keep me and my kids in our house and stay there forever.
After I check the locks of course.

[Silly Hily]

I was just thinking last night that NBC was LOVING that he sent this shit to them. He picked them and not FOX. Woooohooo, score for NBC! It's sick, it really is. I will not, can not, do not watch our local news. It brings me down.
I think you need to send this post to NBC or your local paper or somewhere. I also think I'm going to start sporting a "Molly in '08" bumper sticker on my car.

[Molly]

Silly Hily you are too funny. I'll let you know if I run, haha. (Never!)

I did email the paper a nice piece of my mind though...

[mjd]

Molly,
You have dramtically said what I could not and cannot say. I too have tried not to watch much of the news coverage. The picture from the Times is horrible.

I would order one of those Silly Hily bumper stickers, but since that is my name too, maybe my bumper sticker will say Lost a Sock for Prez. By '08, both you and your blog will be famous.

[Rachel]

I totally agree with you. All NBC did was what this maniac wanted. Make him famous. He was a seriously sick individual and as bad as this may sound, perhaps the world is better off without him in it.

That picture should NEVER have been put on any page of the newspaper, much less the front page.

My kids don't play with toy guns, I think they look all too real to me. There has been more talk about the shooter than his 32 victims. I DO NOT give two shits about that guy. I know more than enough about him. Tell me about the innocent people he killed. Celebrate them for 5 minutes. Talk about the good things they did instead of the bad things he did.

It all just makes me want to cry. I am so sick of turning on the tv every day and seeing someone else killed or hurt for nothing. For drugs or anger or just petty jealousy. And, living in Memphis, TN, well, unfortunately, it happens all too often.

Sorry for the rambling!

[Dave S.]

Well written and well thought out post. It's a crime the feeding frenzy of the major media outlets. All for ratings. Bite me NBC.

[Diane]

I just want everyone to feel they can let their kids play outside again ... I drive through neighborhoods and wonder, "where are all the kids?"

Yay for you and your new attitude. Evil wins when we stay afraid and disconnected from each other.

Thanks for writing this entry.

[SJ]

Great post, very well said, and AMEN to it all. Reading this gave me the chills...

I'm with you 100%.

[Valerie]

What a great post. Honestly, I didn't even know it had happened till we go the paper the next morning. (Because like many of you, I no longer watch the news nor listen to the radio) All I could think was, this crazy nut kills 32 people and every one in America is outraged while hundreds, if not thoudands of our own people are in another country getting killed and no one cares. Seriously, it disgusts me to no end.

[Isabel]

I was upset that NBC posted all of this crap. As if we weren't freaked out enough, we had to have these imagines frozen in our minds.

Good for you Molly for taking the time to write the newspaper and telling them what you thought about it.