Where I sort out the future of my precious family on the internet, Part One

I think I have mentioned my desire to sell our house maybe five, ten, a dozen, or maybe a hundred thousand times on this website.  You've gotten that idea, right? 

Today we are going to break it down. 

My family of four, sometimes five, plus a dog and a cat, currently resides in a 1904-built Cape Cod with original windows, no garage and two, sometimes three cars (that is, when the third is not in a shop having its engine and radiator replaced because I backed the hell into it).  There is a back yard, likely the size of the guest bedroom in your home, that cannot grow grass because it is so heavily wooded.  It backs up to the tail end of a creek that looks like what you would imagine hell on earth to look like: fallen trees, mud, raccoons, litter, more mud, $97 in rubber balls that KJ accidentally threw over the fence, and a smidge of water.  Kevin calls it Dagobah. 

My home features 1198 square feet, of which only 926 can actually be considered "living space" because the stairs up to the remaining square feet are so steep that only adults with harnesses and helmets are permitted to scale them.  That, and the upstairs features only a subfloor, little heat and no air conditioning, so hanging out there any time other than in May and October is pretty much out of the question.  Unless you are my sister Sant who sleeps up there part of the week.  Then you are brave. Or crazy.

Since we bought the house in July of 2000, we have painted every room at least a dozen times, completely remodeled the bathroom and the kitchen, including countertops, flooring, sinks, toilet - you name it, fenced in the backyard, installed central air, put in all new electrical switches and light fixtures, purchased a new furnace and new hot water heater, put on new siding and gutters, and landscaped the entire exterior of the house.  What some would call a fixer-upper I shall call a Money Pit. 

We live next door to the Knucklehead Smiths, who decorate their terribly overgrown landscaping with garbage and somewhat-hazardous chemicals (which, I will add, are still there five months later, rusting on the porch) and allow their unkept, unshoed children to play with bee-bee guns in the tall grasses of their back yard.  On the other side is a biker dude and his girlfriend.  Sometimes when the windows are open you can smell delicious Mexican food cooking.  Other times, pot.  They hang with a large biker gang.  We smile politely when our paths cross theirs so that they don't kill us.

Really?  It's just time to move.

So, Kevin and I have spent the last six months pouring our free time into is scouring the Chicagoland area, its neighboring suburbs, and neighboring state which we currently call home, for a new home. 

Next entry: Where the hell do we go from here?  The dramatic flight from Dagobah.

Comments

[Sant]

Oh how fun! What fun!! Where are we moving to?? Oh, I mean... yes, good idea, to sort out your options, over and over and then some:) Although, if your one- year plan becomes a two-year plan, I am always happy to sleep beneath heated covers and the blubber of a humpback whale. I enjoy "roughing it". So while I hack through the bush that is your neighbor's back yard (and sometimes front), I will be happy to help you paint, pack, and entertain the children when the time comes.

Love live Century 21!

[Sant]

LONG Live (and the answer is: She never proof reads... EVER)

[debi]

Oh geez,I had no idea we shared so much. We also have to smile at passing neighbors that I have such cute names for as "the human vermin",I can't even name the rest. Our prop value is zilch due to the trash that surrounds us on 2 sides. But after years of forcing myself to pray for these "people" and only out of some weird selfish thing that tells me if their life is better it will benifit us,they are beginning to go away.(yes,I am the queen of the neverending sentence)We watched 2 days ago as a wrecker came and put tires on one of the nasty trailors and hauled it the hell out of here.We heard thru the grapevine that several more are being pulled away any day now. It's always a fun way to kill an afternoon. Many times in the past we have watched them haul these lovely homes away . They forget to disconnect from water lines power lines,close doors or take into account how much room they have from the air conditioner to the phone lines above. If you have evcer read "Redneck Neighbor" then you have an idea what we live near. Gotta have a sense of humor.Most of the time I am just disgusted though.

[Frema]

You are planning to escape Fixer Upper Hell, while Luke and I are hoping to find our place in it. Fun times!

[Stacey]

Okay, you DO need to move! I cannot wait to hear about your upcoming house-hunting/moving adventures.

Come to MISSOURI! It's fabulous here! Please???

[aunt kathy]

Oh ya! Come nearer to the city. Let me bribe you. We have Palermos!

[Uncle Bill]

Hey, Palermos! Did I ever tell you that I came up with their winning recipe?? Well, one day I was sitting in my barcalounger eating watermelon, when all of a sudden, I heard the doorbell. I thought, hey, maybe it's a pizza! But it wasn't! It was a Jehovah's Witness. But after that I went to the kitchen and called Palermos, when they brought the pizza, I tasted it and said, "Gee, Smitty, the sauce needs some more salt". And that was how I saved the business.

[Amy W]

Good luck with the house selling. My real estate husband would help you out and would list your house for free, but unfortunately he isn't licensed in your state! But if he was, he totally would :).

[Rachel]

Good luck with selling the house. Sounds like even with the neighbors, the fact that you have done so much renovating and work will be a big selling point.

[Silly Hily]

Stacey, you better back off (only kind of kidding, I love Stacey)! I claim Molly (and Sant). TN is totally a bordering state of IL right? The South is like, so cool. You can say "y'all" until your little heart's content.

But really, I had no idea you wanted to move. :-) You know, if you didn't paint so much I bet your house would be like, 1200 sq. feet.

Good luck!!!!